WLWs That Bloom in the Dark: a Survival Guide for Queer Women Coming Out After 30
This e-book is a raw, vulnerable, and honest compilation of what I experienced, learned, and have come to understand about coming out in my thirties. I talk about everything from grief and shame to acceptance (or lack thereof) to the hard truths about reaching a new understanding of yourself.
I have realized that sometimes, even if your story is wildly different, it helps to hear the way that someone else navigated this same BIG painful thing. At the end of the day, we all just want to know we're not alone in this world, we're not alone in our experiences, and we're not alone in our darkness--our pain and our guilt and our shame. I hope that this guide helps you feel a little less alone, and possibly even helps you navigate your own journey--whether you're currently in the depths of it, or you've made your way to the healing part.
This e-book is a raw, vulnerable, and honest compilation of what I experienced, learned, and have come to understand about coming out in my thirties. I talk about everything from grief and shame to acceptance (or lack thereof) to the hard truths about reaching a new understanding of yourself.
I have realized that sometimes, even if your story is wildly different, it helps to hear the way that someone else navigated this same BIG painful thing. At the end of the day, we all just want to know we're not alone in this world, we're not alone in our experiences, and we're not alone in our darkness--our pain and our guilt and our shame. I hope that this guide helps you feel a little less alone, and possibly even helps you navigate your own journey--whether you're currently in the depths of it, or you've made your way to the healing part.
This e-book is a raw, vulnerable, and honest compilation of what I experienced, learned, and have come to understand about coming out in my thirties. I talk about everything from grief and shame to acceptance (or lack thereof) to the hard truths about reaching a new understanding of yourself.
I have realized that sometimes, even if your story is wildly different, it helps to hear the way that someone else navigated this same BIG painful thing. At the end of the day, we all just want to know we're not alone in this world, we're not alone in our experiences, and we're not alone in our darkness--our pain and our guilt and our shame. I hope that this guide helps you feel a little less alone, and possibly even helps you navigate your own journey--whether you're currently in the depths of it, or you've made your way to the healing part.
Reader Reviews
“It was so validating to have my similar experiences mirrored back to me, to not feel so alone in this. And parts of it I had not begun to work through were like a road map in how to move forward, what to possibly expect, and ways you coped or healed yourself. I keep inching toward more self acceptance and even parts I thought I had been through and healed come back (healing is never finished!) and I will re-read chapters for those parts. It’s like a bible for late in life queer women. I am going to start quoting it like religious people do. “Chapter 5, verse 7 of WTBITD says: Trained as people-pleasers and caretakers and perfectionists who believe we are selfish for choosing ourselves, it goes against everything in us to choose something that puts our own needs over the needs of someone else, or even worse–causes pain to someone else.” This is what I am working on now, letting myself believe that my queerness is acceptable and that changing my life, and my kids and husband’s life, to fulfill this queerness is valid and acceptable and loving.” - L
“I finally had a chance to read the book last week and I was pleased with it. It was a nice, concise read and it was relatable content that I needed to see. I only fully came out to loved one's back in Dec and I'm 40 - so it was a long time coming. Pretty much all of the chapters were beneficial in my opinion or had a little kernel that I could take with me. However the bi/pan/queer chapter was probably the most beneficial to me, as that is how I identify and many of the things you touched on were things that I have thought or felt within myself. It was just nice to read something written by someone who has been through many of the same things as me (felt similar emotions, cried similar tears) in the not so distance past. It's just nice for all of us to know we are not alone, particularly when you are mostly surrounded by cis het people/relationships; it can get very lonely.” - S
For anyone interested in reading WLWs That Bloom in the Dark who does not identify as a part of the LGBTQIA2S+ community, here’s a review from a non-queer reader:
“As a 33 year old woman, I am beginning to feel more comfortable in my body than I ever have. Within the book, there are several references pertaining to how women are viewed in society. I have faced these ideas for all of my existence and it has impacted the decisions I’ve made throughout my life. I have only started to learn that I don’t have to follow the narrative and life can be a la carte. WTBITD shines a light on the toxic social traits our generation grew up with- being responsible for other’s feelings above our own. I always have and actively struggle with social anxiety because of these learned behaviors of caring too much of what others think of me. This has changed my perspective as a parent. I am learning how to teach my child to feel her feelings and understand what they mean and why she has them. I want every opportunity for my daughter. For her to feel safe, confident, and proud in her own body. Above all, WTBITD provides important, informative details that I feel I learned a lot from. However I do need to apologize. In the past I have been critical towards women who have said to identify with a specific sexual orientation and I questioned whether they were being authentic. It was not my place to pass judgement. I feel educated and definitely need to be more understanding of others. In addition, there are lots of great coping strategies that anyone can use no matter the reason, which is super helpful!” - A